For cancer patients, the support of family and friends is very important during their journey. However, a cancer diagnosis often takes everyone by surprise and changes the roles we are used to playing. Those who have not personally battled cancer, despite their best intentions, may not fully understand what their loved ones are going through emotionally and physically. Here are some tips to help your loved one navigate their often lonely journey as you face this new territory.

Ways to help friends and loved ones with cancer

Below we share 14 tips on how to express your love and care to someone with cancer. These are some ideas that will get you thinking, and as you read them, you may think of other ideas that will benefit your family or friends. These are just recommendations. Don’t worry if you find something missing like going on a date. This list is not intended to criminalize you!

When you talk about guilt, remind yourself that you too are going through emotional ups and downs. You deserve and need support. No one is perfect, even if we never feel the anxiety and helplessness that a loved one with cancer experiences. Remember to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

Listen carefully: Listening to cancer patients sounds easy, but it’s really hard. We want to make things better. We want to solve the problem. But a listening ear often “helps.” Allow your loved one to express their feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they feel. If your loved one brings up a difficult topic like death, you can be sure they’ve been thinking about it for a while. Make it easy for them to participate. Don’t judge or interrupt, listen with your eyes and body, not your ears.

Also remember that, contrary to popular belief, having a positive attitude toward cancer does not affect survival.

First, control your emotions: Start by trying to face your fears so you can listen carefully. You can fight grief. If you find yourself struggling between holding on to hope and feeling sad about the future, make sure you recognize the sadness that awaits you.

Say “I love you” over and over again: No matter how you express your love through actions, they cannot replace your words. Prove it. Thanks for their efforts. If they can still brush their teeth after chemotherapy, they should know that their teeth are special and precious.

Put yourself in their shoes: As you continue reading these tips, it may be helpful to try to imagine yourself in your loved one’s shoes. What does cancer really look like? Of course, not only can you imagine the pain, fear, and emotions that come with cancer, but thinking about coping with cancer can help you grasp helpful ideas.

Surrender: For cancer patients, life goes on despite treatment side effects and cancer-related fatigue. A collection of dusty maths. Something as simple as helping clean the house for an hour is usually appreciated. Don’t wait to ask a loved one for help. “Can I come over on Wednesday at 2pm? Do you have the recipe.”

Become a data collector: Access to information can reduce anxiety in some cancer patients and sometimes change outcomes. Learn how to research your loved one’s disease online, request information from your cancer center, and take notes and ask questions during your doctor’s visit. Remember that some people do not want to share the latest information about clinical trials or other medical advice with relatives. Hear the voices of those you love.

Don’t hide things from them or other loved ones: Cancer patients must honestly assess their situation so that decisions can be made according to their needs. Be honest with other family members, especially children. We want to protect our children from the realities our parents or grandparents face, but children often accept the worst. Even when the situation is difficult, honest sharing with your children can help them express grief and love.

Help them find support: Talking to others who have similar cancer problems can be helpful. Ask your cancer center about personal support groups; There are many online support groups that offer 24-hour support for cancer and cancer caregivers. If your loved one isn’t interested in a support group, look into matching services offered by organizations like LUNGevity, which connect cancer patients with people with similar cancers.

Take care of yourself: Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and maintaining balance in your life can help you meet your loved one’s needs. Learn more tips for cancer family caregivers to take care of themselves while caring for others.

Reference

https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/family-friends-caregivers/how-support-someone-with-cancer

https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/19-ways-to-help-someone-during-cancer-treatment.h00-159223356.html

https://cancer.ca/en/living-with-cancer/helping-someone-with-cancer/how-you-can-help-someone-with-cancer

https://amp.cancer.org/cancer/caregivers/how-to-be-a-friend-to-someone-with-cancer.html

https://www.percihealth.com/articles/coping-with-cancer-in-the-family

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/cancer-the-emotional-roller-coaster-9-ways-to-help-your-loved-one

https://www.verywellhealth.com/tips-for-supporting-a-loved-one-with-cancer-2248966

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/supporting-someone