Separation anxiety varies greatly from child to child. Some children become hysterical when their mother is briefly out of sight, while others exhibit persistent separation anxiety throughout infancy, childhood, and preschool.

For all working parents: Separation anxiety survival strategies require preparation, rapid change, and evolution over time. They will suffer like our children. While we often remember that our babies stop crying within minutes of us leaving, how many of us think we “did something wrong” when your baby clings to your leg, and mourns the loss of everything?

As a working parent, separation anxiety causes problems for me. While this is completely normal behavior and a beautiful sign of meaningful attachment, separation anxiety can be uncomfortable for all of us.

Information about separation anxiety children: Separation anxiety can occur when children learn about the permanence of things. When your kids realize you’re gone (when you’re gone), they’ll feel uncomfortable. Although some infants exhibit object seeking and separation anxiety at 4 to 5 months of age, most infants develop severe separation anxiety by about 9 months of age. Taking time off work can be even worse if your child is hungry, tired or sick. If you’re having a rough day, keep the changes short and routine.

Children: Many children outgrow separation anxiety in infancy and begin to show problems between 15 and 18 months of age. Separation can be even more difficult when children are hungry, tired or sick – because they are often still children! When children gain independence at a young age, they are more aware of separation. Their behavior during separation can be loud, tearful and out of control.

Preschool: By age three, children clearly understand the impact separation anxiety or uncertainty has on us. That doesn’t mean they’re not nervous, but they’re definitely anticipating change. Do this, don’t go back to the room at the child’s request, and definitely don’t cancel plans because of separation anxiety. When you say you matter, your consistency, clarity and generosity will resonate.

How to overcome separation anxiety goodbye: Whether you want to make an MLB-style gesture, give the quarterback a three-way kiss, or give a blanket or a special toy as you go, keep your goodbyes short and sweet. If it takes too long, there will be a transition period you have a problemBe consistent, and if you can, try to do the same thing every day to avoid unexpected triggers. Daily activities can reduce pain while allowing your child to develop independence and trust in you.

Note: Give your child your full attention and be gentle during separation. Then, despite their anger or tears, say goodbye quickly so you can stay.

Keep your promises: You will build confidence and independence because if you keep your promises and come back, your child will be confident in their abilities without you.

How do you support your child?

There is no reason to feel guilty about leaving your children for a while. Instead, focus on helping your child learn how to manage their emotions without you, which is an important part of helping them become more independent.

Calm your child when he is scared: When you are with your children, listen to them. Always be sure to respond with understanding and empathy and ease their concerns. Also look for nonverbal cues, such as discomfort or excessive grooming. 

Introduce new caregivers gradually: If you are introducing a new nanny, arrange a few brief meetings between the three of you before leaving your child alone. That way, when you temporarily leave your child with you, he will no longer be a stranger.

Say goodbye quickly and positively: Saying goodbye can be difficult not only for your child, but also for you. Try to stay calm and positive when saying goodbye. Smile, tell your child you’ll see him soon, and feel free to leave. Sticking to this routine will help your child get used to being gone and give him confidence that you will always come back to him.

Create a connectionIf you are sending your child to a new place (such as a family member, friend, chef, or school), it can be helpful to spend time with your child in that environment so they get to know them. Area around and know that your place is safe. It can be helpful to give your children some gifts to help them remember you when they miss you.”Sometimes babies need a little security blanket,” says the doctor.

Cipher. “Look with your child for little things that he can take to new places or that remind him of you, and when he’s feeling anxious, he can look at these things or play with them, which will give him some comfort. Spraying perfume or cologne on the inside of your wrist can have the same effect, as babies’ sense of smell is especially stimulated.

Before doing this, test a small sample to make sure you don’t have an adverse allergic reaction and don’t overuse it.Communicate clearly and be consistentIf your child has separation anxiety, let parents and teachers know about his behavior and your parenting style so they know what to expect and how to respond. You need to communicate clearly with your child and explain how long you will be away, when you will be back and when you will see each other again.

The more consistent you are in what you say, the more confident they’ll be about your return and the more comfortable they’ll be when you leave.”Even practicing the same eye movements every day can help your child get used to them,” says Dr. Seaver. Get positive reinforcementTry not to bother your children with separation issues. Relying on negative phrases like “take care of her” or “stop being a baby” limits her emotions instead of processing them, which leads to more tantrums. Instead, have a kinder, more positive attitude.

“We want to boost the child’s confidence and encourage independent behavior,” says the doctor. Separation “If you grow them, they want to be with you more.”When to Talk to Your DoctorIn most cases, separation anxiety does not require treatment and will go away on its own as your child grows in confidence. However, when symptoms are severe and separation anxiety persists for more than four weeks, you may want to discuss treatment options with your pediatrician, including cognitive behavioral therapy, family therapy, speech therapy, and in more severe cases, medication.”Working with a child psychologist or behavioral health professional can help you get to the root cause of separation anxiety and find healthy ways to help your child cope with separation anxiety,” says Dr. Sever.

Reference

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Soothing-Your-Childs-Separation-Anxiety.aspx

https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/managing-child-separation-anxiety

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/separation-anxiety-and-separation-anxiety-disorder.htm

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/separation-anxiety-tip

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/sep-anxiety.html

https://www.rileychildrens.org/connections/older-kids-and-separation-anxiety-how-it-happens-and-what-to-do

Helping your child cope with separation anxiety

https://slumberkins.com/blogs/slumberkins-blog/child-with-separation-anxiety

https://kids-first.com.au/5-simple-ways-to-help-kids-overcome-separation-anxiety/

https://www.thebump.com/a/separation-anxiety

https://healthier.stanfordchildrens.org/en/how-to-manage-your-childs-separation-anxiety/

https://childmind.org/article/separation-issues-in-young-children/

https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/better-me/separation-anxiety-a-guide-for-parents