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Cancer and Relationships: Strengthening Bonds in the Face of Illness

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Cancer can change relationships, including dating and sex. This is true whether you’re single or have a partner or spouse. It is important to consider factors such as sexual health and fertility before and during treatment. 

Cancer treatment and sexual side effects: 

Cancer and its treatment can cause sexual side effects. These can be physical or mental. Learn about potential side effects for men and women and how your health care team can help. 

Some types of cancer and their treatments may affect your ability to have children in the future. This ability is called fertility and it’s important to talk to your doctor about it. Learn about infertility treatments and cancer treatments. 

If you have a partner: 

You may not have a partner yet. Or maybe you have a serious boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, or spouse. If you have a partner, your cancer can have a big impact on their life. This can be extremely stressful, as it is not uncommon for young couples to be faced with life-threatening illnesses. Emotions you and your partner may experience include: 

Sadness 

Anxiety 

Depression 

Anger 

Disappointment 

Most couples experience changes in their relationship when one partner has cancer. These may include changes in roles and responsibilities, sexual health, intimacy, parenting, and future plans.

It is important to avoid unprotected sex and pregnancy during cancer treatment. Chemotherapy and other medications in the body can make your partner sick, and cancer treatment can have serious negative effects on your fetus. Talk to your doctor about preventing pregnancy and keeping your partner safe during treatment.

Facing cancer together strengthens relationships. Uncertainty can strengthen your love and commitment. You may decide that your partnership is more important than you thought. Alternatively, dealing with cancer and the changes it causes may weaken the relationship. It is important that you and your partner discuss each other’s concerns and challenges. Your medical team and counselors can also address your concerns and help you find ways to cope. 

If you’re single: 

If you’re single, it may be important to consider dating and finding a partner. However, cancer and treatment can cause physical and emotional changes that can affect your energy and interest in dating and sex. You may also feel that you are not yourself, that you are not good enough, or that you have nothing to offer a potential partner. 

Consider the following strategies when building new relationships. 

Think positive about yourself. For example, make a list of great qualities that you bring to a potential partner.

Let your friends and family know you’re ready to date. Ask to connect with potential matches. 

Try a new activity, join a club or take a class. 

Talk to other cancer survivors who have started dating. 

Think about how you would react if you were rejected. Some people may not want to date someone who has cancer or has been through cancer. It’s their choice, not your problem.

Tell someone about your cancer: 

You may not want to tell anyone about your cancer right away. Or, if you have an online dating profile, you can include it in that profile. Before you share, think about how you feel most comfortable communicating about your cancer. You can also simply tell them that you have cancer or are a cancer survivor. It may be helpful to mention and explain the changes that occur in the body due to cancer. Humor helps reduce fear and anxiety. You can also write down what the other person said, practice with a friend, and practice your responses. 

How cancer affects relationships: 

Relationships may change during cancer and its treatment, and you may grieve what happened before. Many couples find that their relationship grows stronger as they face situations together. Couples may experience stress and conflict in their relationships due to living with cancer. 

What makes a Cancer happy in a relationship: 

Cancers need to know that there is security in a relationship, so they are usually not interested in casual dating or dating multiple people at once. They like to make deep emotional connections. Therefore, you can be a little cautious at first.

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